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Even though it's only a little over a month into school, people are already talking about what they're doing this summer. And they're talking about it a lot. The conversations usually go one of two ways: people are either studying abroad (London, Buenos Aires, and Paris are a few popular destinations) or recruiting for internships with major corporations (think Hallmark, JP Morgan Chase). Inevitably, the question always turns to me. People ask what I'm doing this summer, and I excitedly tell them that I'm hoping to work at camp all summer. And I usually get the same response.

Oh, that's...nice. 

A lot of people don't understand why I would work at camp all summer when I could experience the vibrant culture of South America, or attend the London School of Economics, or interview with big-name corporations to build up my resume. And all of those things are great, but I know just where God wants me this summer, and that's in Tyler, Texas.

Home.

The place where I only get my cell phone for 24 hours out of the week. The place where I work in the kitchen for ten hours a day and get a break when I head to the pool to lifeguard. The place where I'm reminded that my job is not about me and my comforts.

The place where I've seen God move in powerful and mighty ways. The place where I'm encouraged and lifted up by a tight knit community of believers. The place where God taught me so many things last summer, even when I came in with a calloused, unbelieving heart. 

Last summer, I had the blessing of serving as a cook/lifeguard at the Pine Cove Bluffs Family Camp, although I didn't always see it that way. At the beginning of the summer, every staffer from all of Pine Cove's 11 camps packed into UT Tyler's Cowan Center, and CEO Mario "High Five" Zandstra talked to us about the mission statement of Pine Cove. 

Pine Cove exists to be used by God to transform the lives of people for His purposes and His glory!

He pointed out that Pine Cove is not just for campers. God uses Pine Cove to impact the lives of staffers too. I took him at his word, but didn’t really consider what this meant for my life.

As I went into this summer, I was ashamed to tell people that I was hired as a cook and not a counselor, and I told people I knew God would do big things, but I didn’t believe it.

I believed that I had failed God and He was disappointed in me, and that’s why I was a cook. I believed that I wasn’t good enough to be a counselor. I believed these things about myself, and I believed that everyone else thought them too. But this summer, God walked alongside me and gently reminded me (again) of how valuable and beloved I am in His sight. He continued to be faithful to me, even when I was faithless.

So why am I working at camp this summer? Because I’ve seen how God truly does use Pine Cove to transform the lives of people for His purposes and His glory. And why should you apply to work at camp this summer? Because when you come to a place where you don’t think you can wash another dish, or sit through another lifeguarding shift, or serve one more meal, that’s where you begin to realize that you really couldn’t do it all along. And that’s where you begin to learn just how powerful and gracious our God is.

I could carry on for pages talking about what God showed me this summer, but here's a condensed list that I wrote out the day after camp ended.

What I learned at camp this summer:

·        If you want to change, ask God. He’s in the business of changing lives.
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

·        God can take even rotten motives and use them for His good and ours, to His glory.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

·        Humility allows me to best love other people because I see their wants and desires as equal to, or as more important than, my own.
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself” Mark 12:31

·        In the body of Christ, every part has times when it wants to be a different part or have a different job to do.
1 Corinthians 12:12-31

·        God works all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose, whether that be job positions or broken bones.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

What nobody told me about my freshman year of college

Being back on campus is great. I love reuniting with friends and settling back into my routine of classes and church and everything else. I love being in Austin.

And as I sit here and rejoice in my surroundings, I can't help but think about just how different they were this time last year. I remember the feelings of loneliness, of inadequacy, of fear and failure all too well. I remember thinking that no one warned me that college was going to be hard, but also believing the lie that I was the only one that felt this way.

That's why I'm not only remembering my first semester of school and praising God for what He did in and through me then, but I'm sharing it because I know now that isolation is one of Satan's favorite weapons to use against us. He will take the smallest foothold and latch on, until all we hear is the lies he is feeding us.

Here are some of the lies I was believing my freshman year (these are actual quotes from my journal):

• Everyone is having a great time except for me
• I feel like I don't have any friends, college is hard and not very fun, and I can't talk to anyone about it
• I'm yearning to be known, to find someplace or something that feels like home and I just can't

So maybe you're feeling some of these things, whether or not you're a freshman in college. And I'm here to tell you that you are not alone. And that's comforting, it really is. But it isn't life giving. So here's some real Truth to combat those lies.

• Everyone is having a great time except for me

Ecclesiastes 1:9 "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun."

For as long as college has been around, college freshmen have felt lonely. I promise. All it takes is being honest with someone and encouraging them to be honest with you, and you will find that you are not alone.

• I feel like I don't have any friends, college is hard and not very fun, and I can't talk to anyone about it

Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

You can talk to someone about it. Someone older, someone your age, someone at home or at school or from camp. A believer. We are called to listen to one another, and to care for one another. God didn't make us to go through these things alone, and there's no way we can bear everything on our own. We get to turn to each other for that, and, more importantly, we get to turn to Jesus. 

Psalm 55:22 "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

• I'm yearning to be known, to find someplace or something that feels like home and I just can't

Psalm 139:1 "O Lord, you have searched me and known me!"

College won't feel like your hometown because (in most cases) it isn't your hometown. I remember searching for a church that was exactly like my home church, and being disappointed when I couldn't find one. I grew up in a large church, and by the time I was a senior I knew nearly everybody. I had close friends that knew me, that knew my struggles and my favorite movies and my go-to cheesy jokes. But friendships like that take time to develop. They don't spring up overnight. The joy in the waiting is that despite how we feel or who we are surrounded by, we are known. God created each of us intricately and purposefully. So while we are working on those close friendships, we can rest in the Truth that the Creator of Heaven and Earth and everything in them, also created us, and looks at us and rejoices over us with gladness (Zephaniah 3:17).

These are some things I wish someone had taken the time to tell me my freshman year of college. And while I did have hard times that forced me to rely on the Lord, such sweet things came from it too. The girls I was open with about feeling alone are the same girls I'm closest to now. My go-to girls for movie nights, outfit advice, and combating lies that I still believe. We grew together through our hurts, and Jesus was so faithful to provide us with sweet community.